Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Phake Phone Phrends

Why did I make an obnoxious title that is moderately clever? Who the hell knows, it's almost 2 a.m. and I am surprisingly tired, so I am going to pump this baby out as quickly as possible.

So we talked in class about making fake phone calls, or pretending to text someone, or looking at our phone for no reason, and I am completely guilty of this. Like I said in class, I am quite the bearded fellow. I feel like I look like someone who shouldn't be within 100 yards of a playground. Now, I suppose I could shave, and in all honestly, I PROBABLY will very soon, but growing a beard is fun. At first I wasn't sure about having a beard, but then it kind of grew on me....(rimshot!). But I digress. So because I worry about looking like the beginning of an episode of To Catch a Predator, I fake text people to avoid having to smile or say hello to people I pass, typically the ladies. And I realize my referring to them as, the ladies, only complements my creepy beard, but I like to appear to be funny as well.

So anyway, to rope these ramblings back in, my point is that I fake text people all the time. When walking towards professors I didn't particularly like, I like to whip out my non-smart phone and act like some sort of well-to-do popular person texting all my popular friends about popular things. Maybe striking up a weak chuckle or smirk to make it appear as if my friends are so funny I just can't bare to look up at the world. It's funny when I catch other people doing the same thing to me in hallway. I always have the urge to turn around and yell, "I'M A HUMAN BEING DAMNIT! LOOK AT ME!" but then it all just circles back to my pedo-beard.

Moral of this story, I am shaving tonight.

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