Deleting Facebook

I have had a Facebook since I was 15 years old. That was seven years ago. I have been posting status updates, writing messages to people, and posting pictures via Facebook for a third of my life.

To some, this may sound cool. I essentially have the ability to look back onto my life and see what I was talking about any day for the past seven years. This freaks me out. When Facebook came out with the new timeline layout I suddenly realized how readily available my 15 year old self thoughts were to the entire Internet and I hated that. So I decided to do something that I assumed was a personal decision and deleted my Facebook. 

I quickly realized how much less this decision had to do with me and how much it apparently insulted many of my "friends". Within the first few weeks without my Facebook I suddenly began receiving text messages and phone calls from some very upset people asking why (not if) I had "unfriended" them on Facebook. My mother even called me to inform me that people from my home town were approaching her and asking why I was upset with them because I had apparently "unfriended" them. These reactions only solidified my decision. 

However, the longer I went without a Facebook I began to realize something was missing. My friends would be frustrated with me that I wasn't aware of the plans they had apparently made, there were inside jokes I didn't get, my classmates were annoyed I couldn't be a part of their Facebook group to plan meetings, and I was no longer talking to some of my friends who live across the country. 

I went about three months without a Facebook. It was a very alleviating experience but what I ultimately learned is that Facebook actually makes life less complicated in many ways. Since my return, I now use Facebook very differently than the average user. I get on maybe once a day and pretty much only use the secret groups of my friends and class groups. But in this middle class University culture that I live in, Facebook is almost a necessity. 

Phake Phone Phrends

Why did I make an obnoxious title that is moderately clever? Who the hell knows, it's almost 2 a.m. and I am surprisingly tired, so I am going to pump this baby out as quickly as possible.

So we talked in class about making fake phone calls, or pretending to text someone, or looking at our phone for no reason, and I am completely guilty of this. Like I said in class, I am quite the bearded fellow. I feel like I look like someone who shouldn't be within 100 yards of a playground. Now, I suppose I could shave, and in all honestly, I PROBABLY will very soon, but growing a beard is fun. At first I wasn't sure about having a beard, but then it kind of grew on me....(rimshot!). But I digress. So because I worry about looking like the beginning of an episode of To Catch a Predator, I fake text people to avoid having to smile or say hello to people I pass, typically the ladies. And I realize my referring to them as, the ladies, only complements my creepy beard, but I like to appear to be funny as well.

So anyway, to rope these ramblings back in, my point is that I fake text people all the time. When walking towards professors I didn't particularly like, I like to whip out my non-smart phone and act like some sort of well-to-do popular person texting all my popular friends about popular things. Maybe striking up a weak chuckle or smirk to make it appear as if my friends are so funny I just can't bare to look up at the world. It's funny when I catch other people doing the same thing to me in hallway. I always have the urge to turn around and yell, "I'M A HUMAN BEING DAMNIT! LOOK AT ME!" but then it all just circles back to my pedo-beard.

Moral of this story, I am shaving tonight.

Im Clueless

Throughout my life I felt that I have somewhat kept up with all the new social media. From myspace, instant message, facebook, and I even remember having a xanga. But after being in this class for 3 weeks now I realized I am absolutely clueless on probably 75% of what students these days are using. First of all, let me get it off my chest that I do not have a twitter, I have absolutely no clue how twitter works, and to be honest with you all, I am just not interested in creating a twitter. Why you might ask? Well for one, I find it interesting to tell people that I do not have a twitter. I do have a facebook and I could not imagine not having one of those and I am sure some people can not imagine having a twitter. Anyway, I have put some thought into creating a twitter. Not because I want to know what people are doing, but because I am more interested in following celebrity tweets. I would rather know what Riff Raff or Paul Rodriguez has in mind for a tweet than my friends.

One of the reasons that I do not have a twitter account is the lack of knowledge I have about twitter. Can you post pictures on twitter? Can you just simply like posts on twitter? These are some of the things I am unclear about.

Anyway, I am sure by the end of this semester this class will influence me into creating a twitter account. So far, I have realized that twitter is very beneficial while being a college student. I noticed that Ball State announces important things that students may be interested, or things they actually need to know. 

Kate Giglio 2

In yesterday's class we discussed the "Fakebook" article and how embellished Facebook is becoming. I was thinking about this and how it has changed Facebook. After observing (sounds much better than “creeping on”) many of my Facebook friends I noticed who I thought was the most guilty of this “embellishing.” I think that one the common “embellishers” are mothers. I think that there are two types of mothers that do this, too. There are the mothers of the small children and the mothers of the teenagers. The mothers of the small children seem like they have to post a kabillion pictures of their “17 month old” eating pears, playing with their new toy, playing in the pool, visiting Santa Clause, taking a nap, sitting with dad, and laughing at the camera. And on top of the many pictures they have to make a Facebook status for every time their child tugs at their ear or wakes up in the middle of the night. “Maybe they have an ear infection? Any other mothers experiencing this?”  As for the mothers of teenagers… They “share” those pictures that are like “repost if you love your kids” and they make Facebook statuses about what proud parents they are because their daughter, Susie, got a 2.9 in her third semester of college! And the second type of people who do a lot of embellishing seem to be 13 and 14 year old girls. There are so many mirror pictures of young teenage girls with pounds of makeup on! They make statuses about their weekend plans and the status usually ends with “TEXT IF YA NEED ME! XOXO” I can’t say I am not guilty of being the 13 year old girl on social media, because when I was 13 it was cool to update your MySpace background once a week.

            I started to wonder why people embellish so much. It is because they are trying to prove something to other people, or maybe to themselves? Maybe those mothers are trying to prove to themselves that they are good mothers. Maybe those teenage girls are trying to show their class mates that they can fit in… And I know it seems like I am lumping every single mother and teenage girl into one category and that isn’t what I am trying to do. It was just an observation!

Social Media

So, this whole social media thing is interesting. MySpace, Facebook and now Twitter have all had a niche in the social media world. Personally, I feel it all started with MySpace, a website for people to create a profile that represented themselves and interact with friends in numerous ways. It allowed you to manipulate your profile however you see fit. Perhaps the most interesting and controversial aspect of MySpace was the “top friends.” A lot could be told about a person with just a glance at their top friends, such as who they hang out with, who they’re interested in of the opposite sex and sometimes celebrities or bands were also put on peoples top friends. In the midst of the MySpace craze, a website called Facebook became public and slowly users began to transfer over to the newest sensation. Facebook had numerous features; ability to post statuses that told their friends what they were up to, tag friends in pictures and statuses, upload pictures and videos, Facebook even had games that could be played from the website itself. Perhaps the most iconic feature on Facebook though was the ability to “Like” statuses, pictures, comments, virtually anything on the website. The users gained instant gratification from this feature. As the Facebook craze began to slow, Twitter has most recently taken the nation by storm. Twitter is perhaps the most versatile of all the social networks. Users create a handle or a codename rather, and are limited to 140 character “tweets” or statuses. Instead of having a friend count on MySpace and Facebook, users on Twitter have followers. The unique feature of Twitter happens to be “hash tagging.” This feature allows users to put a pound (#) symbol followed by key word(s). This allows users to see all the tweets associated with a certain hash tag, which tells the user what everyone else is saying about that same topic.

Each social network has its own features and various aspects that make it unique. Everyone has their favorite based on features, allowing each one to develop its own identity.

Why Are We So Awkward?

So there I was, walking to class, when out of the corner of my eye I see him.  Him being that one guy I had a class with last semester and only talked to him because of that class.  I know he will say hi and then continue to ask how this semester is going. I have to think fast. Oh no! There are no exits.  Wait!! I pull out my phone to see no new messages. I see him getting closer and closer. I call my voicemail to make it seem like an important call I forgot to make earlier.  Ten seconds later, he passes me.  I wait a little longer before putting my phone away. Mission Complete, awkwardness avoided!
Or have I just created a new awkward moment? Did I just turn into that girl who talks to her voicemail?  In a society where a computer screen is more welcome than eye contact, I have fallen into the social norm.  This world has come to avoiding interaction, but never wanting to be alone.  Something just doesn't add up.
In some cases, I do understand avoiding people.  Whenever I am walking home alone at night, I make sure to have my phone visible or "talking" on it so other people know I can get a hold of someone in an instant.  But just avoiding someone because I don't feel like giving you a second of my time is normally just considered rude.  Instead of being rude, we make it seem rude for someone to approach us just because we are on the phone.
Why are we so awkward? Or I guess the better question is why are we so afraid of being awkward?  People always want to be unique and stand out, but we all hide behind technology.  I think as a society we should take a chance, risk that awkwardness and let our true self shine. I wonder what would happen.  Would the world crumble beneath our feet? Or would we simply make a new friend, or create a tighter bond?
The world may never know.

Does Your Facebook Portray the Real You?

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After reading the article “The Language of Fakebook” by Katie Roiphe and discussing it further in class my eyes were opened up to how fictional the world of Facebook can be. In the article Roiphe talks about how everything on Facebook seems to be so exaggerated and extreme. When you type “LOL” are you really laughing out loud? Most likely you are not. In class someone made a comment about the pictures you post on your Facebook page. He said, “At the party that night you may have taken 300 some pictures but on Facebook you only posted 3”. You wouldn’t you want to post a picture you look unattractive in? Would you? Facebook allows you to hand pick what you want your “friends” to see. Essentially you are advertising yourself, amplifying and reducing certain events, pictures, and posts.

Prior to our class discussion I felt that my Facebook page (for the most part) stayed pretty true to myself. During the discussion I found myself agreeing with a lot of the comments being made and giggling along with other classmates who realized they were victims of the same crime. We are all guilty participants of “Fakebook”. I don’t believe that this makes us bad people or liars. In the end everyone is just striving for acceptance and attention. The media logic we grew up with influenced us on what is considered good, normal, and desirable. Facebook is just a social media outlet that allows us to show the world we are not alone and that we are apart of some social norm out there. Even outcasts are able to find a Facebook niche to fit in. Maybe we are thinking about it all the wrong way. Maybe Facebook is meant to be manipulated and molded with to show others who we want to be portrayed as. You must keep in mind though that nothing beats real people and personal interactions. Facebook will never attain all the mediums personal interactions you need to create a successful relationship, so why treat it like it will? 

Social Media & Loneliness

During our discussion in class today, I began to think of other reasons why Facebook is making my generation so lonely. Because most people post at least one Facebook picture or at least one Twitter post during, for example, a weekend it makes you feel like you know what your friends are doing. This is especially true for friends that are not on the same campus as you or that you don’t see often. Those pictures and statuses create the illusion that you are fully updated on the lives of your friends when in reality those are only snapshots of their actual activities. I am definitely guilty of allowing tweets and pictures to serve as substitutes for interaction with some of my friends. If I see a tweet that indicates one of my friends stayed in all weekend I am much less likely to text them and ask about their weekend. If I see a picture that shows a friend partying I don’t necessarily ask about details of their weekend, especially if mine was relatively boring. When you really reflect on this trend you realize that it would be so simple to send a friend a quick text or give them a call to catch up, yet so many people are using social media as a crutch in this area. This bad habit undoubtedly creates strains on relationships and leads to weakened bonds overtime. Like one of the class articles pointed out, social media interaction is not a substitute for one on one communication. It is important to remember this next time you scroll through a friend’s account.

Although I feel the illusions of closeness created by social media in part contributes to our overall feeling of loneliness, I also think looking at pictures or reading posts on social media can be comforting during times when we do feel lonely. Being able to favorite a tweet or comment on a picture allows you to feel a sense of reconnection with friends that may be geographically far. It serves as an outlet to express the idea that you still care about what your friends are up to and what they have to say, even if you aren’t involved in their day-to-day lives. While relatively insignificant interactions on social media may seem shallow and unfulfilling I believe they can also be subtle, but meaningful reminders that your friends are thinking about you without them actually having to blatantly state “I am thinking about you”. Again, virtual interactions alone are not enough to keep a person from feeling lonely, however, they can be enough to prevent a person from feeling lonely during a bad day or even week. They can serve as little pick-me-ups that make a person’s day just a little bit better. There’s no arguing that social media interactions are only temporary fixes if a person is chronically lonely, but in some cases they might just be enough to get them through a tough few days. It is easy to discredit the impact basic virtual communication can have on the big picture, but sometimes those little interactions do combat loneliness.

Facebook Made Me Lonely

Sara McInerney
Facebook Made Me Lonely
1-29-13

Today in class we all admitted something we already knew about each other, our friends, events and pictures on Facebook, aren't really real. After reading the article title, "Is Facebook Making Us Lonely?" I could immediately relate. I have been guilty of scrolling through my feed of my friends while I was bored or staying in for the night. The thing that I look at most while on Facebook would definitely be pictures. I usually don't care too much about how mad you are your boyfriend dumped you, or that the one millionth like on a random status will cure cancer and how many points you got on Farmville, I always grazed over my friends pictures. What are they doing? Where are they? Who are they with? Was I invited to that party? Did I even know the party was going on? They're dating now!? She looks slutty or he is hot. All these things would go through my head while looking through the latest pictures my friends updated. I made snap judgments and then promised myself, next time I had something to do or post, I would make it a big deal.

The whole time, I was so jealous of what they were doing, who they were hanging out with or what was going on in the pictures. When I was in my senior year, even my freshman year of  college, I took TONS of pictures after scrolling through my feed, I wanted to make sure they knew what I was doing, who I was hanging out with and that I was having the "best time ever." I was obnoxious. I am sure my Facebook friends dreaded every time I uploaded because from each significant event in my life there would be at least one hundred pictures. And by significant  this could mean something as little as drinking at a friends on a Friday night. Even from those nights, hundreds of pictures.

Now that I look back, I know I was obnoxious. No one cared that my friend Joey made a funny face while taking a shot or that Lauren and I took 15 pictures with 15 different poses. But I did it because Facebook makes our lives a competition. It's a place to show how great of a family you have, how hot your boyfriend is and how crazy your weekends are. And the comments and likes only drive us to keep going, to upload more and to consistently do so or the ugly truth comes out, we are clearly lonely if we aren't actively uploading.

Finally, into my sophomore year of college, I realized how insane I was acting and how annoying I was being by uploading so many pictures. At the end of my first semester in sophomore year, I made a promise to stay off of my Facebook the week before and week of finals, and you know what, I didn't know what everyone was doing, or how much fun my friends at home were having or that my friend of a friend starting dating this guy who's name I didn't even know, and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. What I did know is what was going on in my REAL friends lives. I found out through conversation before a class that one of my friends parents were going through a divorce. We had this conversation because I wasn't staring at my phone while on Facebook and I wasn't scrolling through endless pictures from the weekend of someone who I had just met this year, I was talking to real friend who needed me. After finals week, I didn't even have the urge to get back on. I wanted to get out and do something picture worthy, but not one hundred pictures worthy. Since that year, I have uploaded minimal pictures to Facebook and I cannot remember the last time I made an album of pictures, I simply do not upload enough. Instead, I have started scrap booking and making real memories with real friends.

Interpersonal Wussies

Today in class we talked about the effects Facebook has on making people lonely within the lecture's original topic of interpersonal relationships and social media. As an interpersonal communications major I started pondering about how social media is making us worse face-to-face communicators. I agree with the statement that social media interactions are frequent but without substance. The greatest memories I have are with my closest friends. Those memories and friends were not made in a conversation using Facebook messenger, or through the use of tweets, they were made hanging out and going out. Also, most of my interpersonal skills were developed in face-to-face social interactions. Whether it be persuasion, humor, or sympathy I learned those skills by hanging out with friends, family and even strangers. That being said, I am certainly not saying that I am not also victim to the effects social media has on my interpersonal skills. Like noted by many students I suddenly feel awkward around stranger and fear that if I try to start up a conversation that this stranger will think of me as creepy and not friendly. This is something new to our generation, I am convinced. My parents and grandparents can seemingly strike up a friendly conversation with anyone and carry that conversation for what seems like forever. Why does that not happen anymore?! That's how friends used to be made, through interpersonal, face-to-face, genuine conversations. I wish it were still the same today. People have no problem showing being outgoing on Facebook when they stand up for their personal beliefs, but become introverts when this topic come up face to face. In fact I did not even participate in today's conversation, yet I managed to blog 250+ words on my opinions considering the lecture...I have fallen victim!

Making A Case For Facebook

If students had to take away one thing from class earlier today, I think it would be that social media (namely Facebook) have a terrible reputation for its affect on us as people, and how we alter our appearance in the digital world compared to real life. Today in class, we talked about how Facebook allows us to create a highly curated and carefully constructed representation of the self. We noted, that yes, it’s not accurate reflection of our every day life. But, what if the way we use Facebook is actually a form of self-affirmation (“Affirming the Self Online”, 2011)? Claude Steele, a social psychologist proposed the theory of self-affirmation, which claimed that accessing positive and meaningful information about the self satiates the fundamental need for positive self-regard, and has profound psychological benefits, such as increased self-confidence and open-mindedness, and decreased biased processing.

When we use social networking sites, such as Facebook, we behave the way we do because we like feeling that what we’re doing is attention-worthy of our networks, and because we believe we’re expressing our individuality to our networks. Through the process of uploading our carefully selected images from the previous night, and “liking” a product for our network to see, we feel as if we’re valuable and worthy, which is why we continue to carry on like we do on Facebook and other social networks. In order for users to achieve self-affirmation, their Facebook profiles must meet three criteria: Represent domains of the self on which self-worth is contingent, offering a flattering portrait of the profile owner, and be accurate, given information that the self-presenter knows to be untrue cannot increase positive self-regard (“Affirming the Self Online”, 2011).

By representing domains of the self, users reveal personal information about themselves, such as their job, birthday, and allow networks to see interactions with friends. In order to present a flattering self-portrait, users take meticulous care of their public activity on Facebook, from wall-to-wall conversations to the photographs that they’re tagged in.  Finally, since users’ networks are composed of friends and acquaintances, they are challenged to provide content that is both accurate and honest.

In conclusion, while our Human-Computer Interaction may limit our Human-Human Interaction, it’s unfair to say that there are not benefits to making an effort to ensure that our online identity lives up to our personal standards.

References

Affirming the Self Online: Motives and Benefits of Facebook Use. (2011). Conference Papers -- International Communication Association, 1-49.

Pick Your Head Up

Sara McInerney
Pick Your Head Up
1-29-13

I enjoy talking to strangers and I love meeting new people. Like the girl who shared in class today said how she remembers every one she meets, so do I. Just like her, I will remember if I met you at freshman orientation, a party where there was 100 other people or if you are a friend of a friend and we have only met once. Like her, I hate that other people think this is weird or awkward. One of my favorite things about college has been constantly meeting new people. When I walk down McKinley, I am not looking at my phone, I am usually listening to music but not a deafening volume, just high enough for me to hear, but I am able to hear my surroundings as well. I also enjoy just looking at campus because deep in the back of my mind, one day I know I am going to WISH I was lugging a 50 pound back pack down McKinely, walking to class at 8 a.m. or sitting through a lecture hung over after a long night at Dill Street. When I walk down McKinley, I like to keep my head up.

I couldn't help by praise the article, "When you're only text friends" because the author talks about how excited she was to set foot on campus to see all these new faces, but she was given the cold shoulder. It wasn't because of anger or anything, but because students are staring down their phones, iPods or Ipads. Just like the author, I had felt the same way coming to campus. I enjoyed meeting new people and I always remembered them after parties on the weekends walking down the street on Monday. I look at every person I pass and I make sure to nod, wave or smile at someone I know regaurdless of the depth of our relationship. I just like being friendly. But I soon fell to the same demise, staring down at my phone, seeing that guy who tried to hit on me and pretending to receive a call and turning away or just plain ignoring people to avoid eye contact. 

I highlighted, underlined and cirlced the quote, "Everyone wants everyone else to say hi but doesn't want to be th person saying hi." I think this is so true! Everyone comes to college with this outgoing and go with the flow attitude, but soon enough, we all fall to the trap of the cell phone. Texting down McKinley, faking a phone call to avoid someone or just ignoring the people around you. College is the best four years of our lives and we're walking down the street reading Twitter just to pass the 7 minutes it takes to get to our next class. We need to pick up our heads. We ALL know we will someday be surrounded by clinging children, screaming babies, huge bills, an angry boss and annoying mother-in-laws so while we can, we need to have the intereactions of kids just like us, easy going, friendly, college students. 

That is why I pick my head up.                                                              

My Parasocial Relationship

My Addiction/Parasocial Relationship
Sara McInerney
1-29-13

I love How I Met Your Mother. Plain and simple, I am obsessed. I have seen every episode at least twice and I continue to watch to this day, over and over and over and over...  Needless to say, I am addicted, and I know it. 

Luckily, I do not completely fall under the definition we discussed in class. While I do not physically depend on the show, I definitely depend on it in a psychological manner. I have seen the show so many times, it even helps me go to sleep because I don't actually have to listen, so I can lay there and not have to be consumed with thoughts of what I need to be doing tomorrow or should have done today, I can just drift into sleep from the voices of Ted, Lily, Robyn, Barney and Marshall. When I have had a bad day and don't want to think about anything, I turn on the show and soon enough, I am asleep. The definition also says that the person addicted will schedule time around the addiction. While I do not schedule time to watch the show when it airs, I always watch it the day after.. Thanks to my iPhone and Netflix, I even watch the show when I only have ten minutes to do so. I watch it when I brush my teeth, get ready for class at 7 a.m. and when I cook. While I am not scheduling time to watch the show, I definitely make time for it, even if it is multitasking. Unfortunately  my few friends who watch the show are back at home so I don't talk too much about it but if I slip a phrase here and there, my boyfriend catches it and rolls his eyes. He hasn't seen half the episodes I have, and he is over the show and does not want to hear about it because he is usually around when I am watching it.

I had to laugh out loud when we learned the definition of a parasocial relationship in class. A parasocial relationship is one sided, a bond of intimacy and you think and act like you know that person. While I do have a particular person in mind but my relationship is with an entire show, I definitively feel this way about this show. The show makes me feel at home. When I hear their voices and am watching them interact in the bar or their apartment, I feel like all is right and I can relax. 

Ellen Lee does Facebook make us lonely? Ellen Lee-001

As I am reading the article "Is Facebook Making us Lonely" I found it quite riviting the arguments the author made. One aspect of the article that really stood out to me was this quote, "Over the past three decades, technology has delivered to us a world in which we need not be out of contact for a fraction of a moment." I had never really thought about the impact that social media and the internet have bestowed upon us and it really is life changing.

I also felt a connection with the reading that says we are connected but only on the surface level. I have noticed that our generation is surrounded by fear of speaking face-to-face with another person. This comes into play even with ordering food or buying something from the internet. In today's society it is apparent that people our age will order things online more than going into the actual establishment to try and circumvent all unwanted communication that might stand in the way.

The article also stated that the single-child family has increased since earlier in the century. I do not necessarily believe this is because of social media, but the choices younger generations have made about having children and the deals with teen pregnancy. I believe social media sites, such as Facebook, have had an impending impact on our society, but i do not believe it to be the result of decreasing population.

I agree with the claim the article makes about gathering less and interacting less. I think because of social media our physical interactions have decreased and it is kind of a scary thought. The idea that social media is never going to escape us and that our children will be in the same situation we are, if not worst. Facebook has even become a medium for meeting with groups instead of meeting face-to-face at a selected location.  I hope that these statistics will change but how things are going now it looks as though our situation will stay the same for a very long time.

Social Networking Changing Standards

Shannon Grosenbacher
1/29/13

We can all agree that technology has flourished especially in the last ten or so years. But has it gotten to the point where it's become a threat? It's as if it's gotten to the point where our self-worth is shattered until someone non-verbally makes it known online or through any type of social media. Since we’ve been given the “luxury” of social-networking, we’ve been able to put ourselves out there, keep up with old friends, check up on ex girlfriends or boyfriends (oops), etc. Ever since the Myspace era, more and more young people have been brainwashed to believe that their worth stems from the amount of Likes, Comments, and attention they get towards their personal posts, pictures, and video.

And that’s not what I have a problem with. I have a problem with how far people go to receive this attention, whether positive or negative. I’ve seen people on numerous occasions post vulgar comments to ruffle a few feathers on the Internet. This, in turn, is turning the audiences attention towards them. Granted, the attention that they’re receiving isn’t a positive one; however, too many people feel like they don’t have a voice unless they post something outlandish or taboo.

There’s also a hidden evil on the other side of the spectrum. We often try to make our life online appear majestic and perfect. I'm as guilty as the next person. And for many girls with appearance issues, they use picture-editing to air-brush themselves to perfection.  However, there is a fine line. I feel like these tools are creating false images of oneself and damaging the self-esteem of society. Since our standards of what is "beautiful" are sky-rocketing so much, people are finding flaws in themselves every day. Beauty is becoming defined as having perfect skin, symmetrical teeth, and a bronze tan.

Don't get me wrong, I do believe that social networking has the intention of being good for increasing social capital. But I think it's becoming dangerously close to a virtual world of unrealistic standards of "happiness" and "perfection."